


Gotta See What Tomorrow Brings

by Flick (raynon)



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album)
Genre: Gen, Happy Ending tho, gender panic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26029954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raynon/pseuds/Flick
Summary: Party's had a difficult time with their identity, but the clock is ticking. They don't wanna go out not being their true self.
Relationships: Kobra Kid & Party Poison (Danger Days), Party Poison & Show Pony
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Gotta See What Tomorrow Brings

The Killjoys decided to stay the night at the radio station just so they could all go over the plan and make sure both the AM and the van were ready. Kobra and Jet were inside with Dr. D and Pony while Party and Ghoul stayed outside with Cherri and the vehicles.

“The belt’s been kind of squeaky, and while that shouldn’t be a problem,” Cherri rambled, “it’s never a bad idea to take care of it. Just to make sure.”

“Yeah, I hear you.” Ghoul grabbed a small flashlight from his toolbox. “Party likes to glue himself to my side every time the AM shudders the wrong way. At least that’s how he phrases it.”

Party exhaled a nervous chuckle. “Yeah...well, don’t wanna break down in the middle of a chase, y’know?”

Ghoul smirked. “It’s fine. He’s cute when he gets all nervous about cars.”

_ He, himself-- _

Party glanced to Cherri, then Ghoul, both of whom weren’t looking back at them. They cleared their throat as quietly as they could. They were thankful, though, because now didn’t seem to be a good time to even look nervous. They tried hard to ignore the sourness burning in their stomach.

“Hey, uh-- when you guys are gonna be out there, D has me on broadcast so...I figured I’d ask now. Got any song requests?” Cherri asked, trying to keep the mood light.

Ghoul looked over at Party, raising his brow. “What’s the fearless leader think?”

Party’s smirk returned. “SING. It sounds like the right message.”

“Yeah, I like that.” Cherri flipped a rock with his boot.

Jet, Kobra, and Pony came outside to join the group. “D’s pretty much prepared for everything. Timers are all set, radios are taken care of,” Pony told them.

“Good. Thanks.” Party nodded.

Kobra squinted. “You okay, Party? You look a little tense.”

“Y’know how he gets, Kobes.” Ghoul’s smile faded. “I mean, sorry. Not to talk over him, but--”

Party sucked in a quick breath. It suddenly felt too crowded. It felt wrong when it shouldn’t. “I, uh, excuse me.” They wished there was a real place they could go to be alone, but the best place they could find refuge was behind the station, where D and Cherri usually sat with the soda cooler. They just collapsed into one of the beach chairs waiting there and whined, letting the anxiety take them over. Just let the silence amplify the invasive thoughts for a minute.

“Oh, honey.” Pony sighed as they held out a cold can of soda.

Party hadn’t taken it, since they couldn’t see from their position of being folded in half, forehead pressed into their knees 

Pony knelt down and tilted Party’s face up with their index finger under their chin. “Listen, you’re gonna get her outta there. You’re gonna succeed tomorrow. The Witch has a plan for you, and it’s gonna follow through.”

Party just didn’t have it in them to cry right now. They didn’t know what their body wanted them to do; it was practically vibrating with confusion. “Yeah,” they muttered. “Thanks. But I’m not worried about that. I know she’ll be okay.”

“Then what’s got you shaken up? Haven’t seen you this rattled in years.” Pony backed up so they could sit next to them. The soda was standing upright beside the chair, remaining untouched. “If you wanna talk about it, I mean. I don’t wanna push you.”

Party bit down hard on their tongue. “I think--” He pushed his stringy red hair back, only to have it rebel and fall against their forehead again. He thought he might lose it right then and there, until they took a deep breath. “I think you might be the only one I can talk to about it.”

Pony tilted their head. “How so?”

Party’s throat seized, lips twisting into a frown. The words were right there, screaming in repeat over and over in their mind, but they felt stuck on their tongue. Taking a deep breath, he straightened their posture and looked up at the stars instead. “It’s, ugh, it feels like everything. Me. I can’t stop thinking about where I’ve come from and how I ended up here.”

“Is it like your whole life flashing before your eyes, that sort of thing?” Pony leaned back, their voice soft and patient.

Party shrugged. “Sorta, yes and no.” Their knee started bouncing. “It’s-- All those years in the city, I was only an image of what BLi wanted me to be. I wasn’t myself, and that still fucking clung to me after I escaped.”

“What do you mean? You’re super outgoing and do what you want now.” Pony smiled. “I mean, I know it was hard to get used to freedom in the beginning, but you really grew into yourself. Right?”

“In some ways, I guess,” Party muttered.

Pony pushed their chair closer. “In what ways didn’t you, then?”

Party swallowed hard, and kept looking up at the sky. They could feel their eyes start to sting already, and they feared their voice betraying them by cracking. Groaning, they reached out to grab Pony’s hand, like an anchor. “I...fuck. Ever since I met Kobra and you, every so often, I just-- I dunno. I’d feel the worst and most confusing envy, and I couldn’t figure it out at first. Eventually, it started to make sense...how confident you both are in yourselves.” Party bit their tongue, feeling the first thin tear rest at the top of their cheekbone.

“When Kobra came and told me that he was a guy, of course I was so happy for him. Because he looked so happy, and, y’know, I had a brother. Have...a brother.”

Pony nodded.

“I guess it’s just, why have I never felt that good about who I am? It’s not a constant thought, but sometimes when I just look at myself--”

Pony laced their fingers between Party’s. “So, you’re questioning whether or not you’re male?”

Party sniffled hard and nodded. “I’ve kept it to myself for all this time, and now I don’t think I have time left, and-- Pony, shit, I’m going to fucking die being this false fucking image of myself. I’m so angry.”

“Party...” Their brow furrowed, giving their hand a squeeze. “You still do have time. I swear, you do. Do you want the others to know about this?”

“Of course I do! I wanted them to know for as long as I’ve known ‘em all, but everything just kept getting in the way.” Their free hand rubbed furiously at their eyes, and they sniffled harder. “There never seemed to be a good moment to think this shit out.”

“Tell ‘em now,” Pony suggested. “I can guarantee Kobra’s gonna understand.”

“Would he, though? I mean, what if he thinks I’m just trying to be like him? Like I’m copying or something...”

“Party, gender isn’t some patent people can claim.” Pony gave a faint chuckle, shaking their head. “If it’s who you are, and if you think that owning it and letting the people you trust know is the best choice, then I’m not sure what else to tell you. You deserve so much happiness, honey. It’s okay to put yourself first once in a while.”

Party shook their head without thinking, then groaned again. “It’s all so much. It’s too late, Pony, I waited too long.”

Pony breathed in deeply. “Can I hug you?” Once they got a nod, they moved out of their chair again, sat on the ground in front of Party, and pulled them gently onto their lap to hold them tight. “Your crew loves you more than anything. Whether you still wanna tell them or not is up to you, but it’s not too late.” They knew the threat of tomorrow was breathing down Party’s neck, but it wasn’t fair that that seemed to be the only thing holding them back.

Party’s face buried into Pony’s shoulder. “I don’t even know where to begin. I doubt anyone’s in the right mindset for this.”

“Just take a deep breath.” Pony breathed with him, rubbing their back. “Oh--  _ Witch _ , I can’t believe I forgot to ask.” They pulled back and rested their hands against Party’s cheeks. “What do you feel comfortable with?”

Party chuckled roughly. “Th-they...they & them. Yeah.”

Pony grinned back. “Beautiful. Okay.” They wiped Party’s face dry and grabbed the soda again. “Hydrate.”

Party snorted. “This is mostly sugar.”

“I can go get you some water if you want,” Pony offered.

Party shook their head. “It’s fine, but thanks.” The can popped open, and Party drained the thing without stopping. “Are they still all over at the van?”

“Yeah. You got this.” Pony helped them back on their feet.

“Okay. Yeah.” Party pushed their hair back again, but it still refused to stay in place. Huffing, they just left it be. “Pony?”

“Yeah, Party?” Pony took the empty can and tossed it in the steel barrel closeby.

Party leaned forward and pecked them lightly on the lips. “Thanks...so much. You’re electric.” Swallowing hard, they stepped forward and rounded the house to see Ghoul, Jet, Kobra, and Cherri puttering about with the van. Or, at least Ghoul’s legs sticking out from under it.

Kobra was the first to spot Party, and he waved them closer. “Hey, everything alright?”

Party stayed quiet as they approached, and nudged one of the van tires with their boot. “Ghoul, c’mon. Get outta there for a second.” When he slid back out and stood up, Party hopped up to sit on the van’s hood.

“What’s going on?” Worry was etched deep in Kobra’s features.

Party folded their hands tightly in their lap. “Um, nothing serious. I mean...it’s not about tomorrow or anything.” They sat up as straight as they could, their gaze settling on Kobra, where they felt safest. “I’m non-binary. That’s...that’s it.”

“ _ That’s it? _ What do you mean  _ that’s it?  _ Party, that’s good!” Kobra beamed. “I’m happy you told us.”

“Oh--” Ghoul’s cheeks went pink. “Shit, Party. I’m so sorry, I’ve been calling you  _ he _ all night, and when you disappeared so suddenly...”

“You couldn’t have known. But, uh, thanks for apologizing.” Party rubbed the back of their neck. “It’s really long overdue news.”

“But now we know.” Jet nodded. “And we’ll make sure everyone knows who’s gonna kick BLi’s ass.” He glanced over at Cherri, who nodded as well.

Party held their breath. “Yeah. They’re gonna wish they never pissed us off.” Fear was still apparent in their voice, but they hid it behind a smile.

“Fuck yeah! Killjoys and the venom siblings!” Kobra held his fist out, Party knocking their own against it. “We’re gonna make so much noise, BLind’ll go deaf.”

Party’s chest swelled with warmth, wiping their face one more time. “Yeah. Yeah, we will.”


End file.
